Because I Care

To keep you lot occupied while I come up with something... meatier to write about, I thought I'd point you in other directions for the time being, simply (like the title says) because I care.

Following links to links to links regarding information about Return to Sleepaway Camp, I came across a fab website called Upcoming Horror Movies. Guess what they cover there? Go on, guess! You're all so smart, I just love you to death. Here's a link directly to upcoming slasher flicks. There's some they've listed that I'm actually excited about- My Bloody Valentine 2, for example, sounds pretty sweet. Return to Sleepaway Camp has my knickers in a twist as well (wait, are knickers in a twist good or bad? because I mean good.), although it's going to be a truer sequel to Part 1, and skip the storylines of Parts 2 and 3 altogether. I adore all 3 Sleepaways, but I loves me some post-sex-change, self-righteous Pamela Springsteen 'Angela' in 2 and 3.

One of these days or months I'm going to tell you/list for you my favorite slashers. I promise. And when I do, you'll know why the upcoming remake of Black Christmas has me all 10-kinds-of-Hulkin'-out. It's 'roid rage time! Actually , I could just tell you why right now, albeit in not-so-deep detail.

I fucking love Black Christmas. I love it as much as a woman can love a horror movie on DVD without it turning into some kind of fodder for a Springer episode. I mean, come on now! Are you with me on this? It's got Margot Kidder (and we all know how special my relationship with Margot Kidder is), Olivia Hussey and her shiny hair, and the movie is fucking scary. Really, truly unsettling and scary. I don't know if you've seen it or not, so I don't want to spoil anything for you. I knew zero about it when I saw it for the first time- just last year- and I fell in love. Without giving any juiciness away, let me just say that the mystique developed around the killer is incredibly effective, to put it mildly. We don't know why he kills. Now, before you get all " he sounds like Michael Myers!" on me (and you know how I feel about Halloween and Michael Myers), let me just say this:

We don't know why he kills...and we don't know who he is. We don't see him during the movie, except for a disembodied eye behind a door. His name could be 'Billy', but that might not be true either. The fact that absolutely nothing is revealed about the killer was a little revolutionary, eh? No one does that. Sayeth director Bob Clark:

In the original, it was never my intention to reveal the killer's identity or backstory. It was bold and some people didn't appreciate it. When Warner Bros. bought the movie they tried to talk me out of it & into making more of a concluding finish.

Bob Clark stuck to his guns. He and writer Roy Moore rule.

Which all brings me to some sort of point, I suppose. For the remake (due in 2006), guess which angle the filmmakers are taking? Guess again. See why I love you? That's right, they're delving into the killer's backstory. While it could be an interesting backstory, can't we just leave it up to the imagination? Just this once? Please? I assume audiences need their hands held, they need explanations and 'why's. Stupid audiences. I hate them all! A white-hot ragin' hate! Not a 2 Minute Hate, a...a...15 Minute Hate!

And who's behind this remake? The writer/producer/director duo behind Final Destination are behind this, that's who. That's like...I don't know...let's say, first you find out your dog is talking about you behind your back, which is bad. Then you find out he "took a liking" to your pillow, which is worse. Then when he'd had his way with said pillow, he pooped in your coffee when you weren't looking, which is worse yet. See where I'm going with this? THEN you find out he ate your JJ Fad record which is...well, that's up in the air, now, isn't it.

Ha ha! You like JJ Fad!

Another fine site I'd like to point you to is a recent addition to the sidebar, Bleeding Skull. It's most righteous and filled with enough reviews to put my sorry ass to shame. And it just so happens they've got a link to the Black Christmas trailer right on the homepage. See how it all comes full circle? You'd think I planned it that way. In fact, I'll let you think I did.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to mention once again how much I'm looking forward to Silent Hill. That is all. Thank you and good night.