True, that makes no sense, but whatevs.
You know that whole Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game? The game that purports that basically everyone in the known universe is no more than six degrees away from Kevin Bacon? Well...I was going to suggest that one could easily play Six Degrees of Jason Voorhees, but then I remembered that Kevin Bacon is in the first Friday film, meaning anyone related to Jason through the films would also be related to Kevin Bacon through the films, rendering Six Degrees of Jason Voorhees useless. Dammit! That Kevin Bacon is such a glory hog.
Get it? "Hog"? "Bacon"? OMG LOL.
Anyway, before she "Hi-YAA!"ed her way into our hearts as Lady Deathstrike in X2 (2003), Kelly Hu was a total twat as the popular and bitchy Eva Watanabe in Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.
Yes, Ms. Hu's silver screen debut came in 1989 in what most folks seem to agree is the worst Friday the 13th film in the series. Yay! Also notable is that her death is most likely one of the least-thrilling in the series: Jason chases her and...chokes her. That's it!
Though her characters in both films are dead, this Kelly Hu connection makes me wonder...at this point, why not have some overblown X-Men/Friday crossover film extravaganza? I mean, the Friday films can't really sink any lower, right? So why not have Jason wreaking havoc somewhere and the X-Men have to come in to save the day? Come on...that's a fantastic idea! Then in the sequel they can all go to space and something something the love of a little orphan girl will save the world.It's brill!
Brillo, that is, as in scraping chunks off my soul.
ReplyDeleteHey, I'd love to see a showdown between Jason and Wolvie and! Let's see how well his healing factor works when his head is lopped off with Jason's ax.
ReplyDeleteClearly, Kelly Hu was killed for her insanely awful choice of suspenders. (Anyone else notice that they form an X across her chest? Nudge, wink, film producers!)
ReplyDeleteBut really, any crossover with the X-Men is awesome.
X-Men vs. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
X-Men vs. the ladies of Steel Magnolias
X-Men vs. Cowboy Creepyskins from Mulholland Drive?
Oh Kevin Bacon, you're a wonder!
ReplyDelete...and Kelly too...
But you've got to give her credit. At least she was somewhat likeable in F13 VIII. Peer pressured cocaineers melts North America's hearts away.
Jason's already gunning for the Silver Surfer - what with him prancing around the galaxy buck-naked all the time.
ReplyDeleteI think Mystique would be at the top of a very short list of mutants who could get the better of Jason. All she has to do is duplicate Pamela Voorhees' appearance, and presto - he's as gentle as a (zombified) lamb.
Let's see how well his healing factor works when his head is lopped off with Jason's ax.
ReplyDeleteWolverine has been thrown into the sun and survived, as well as ripped completely in half by the Hulk. I think a decapitation is a pittance compared to that.
Also, his vertebrae are adamantium, so Jason couldn't decapitate him.
COMIC FANGIRL AWAAAAYYY!!
I think she is a strong runner-up for "Ridiculous Faces of Death."
ReplyDeleteAlso, good use of the term "total twat." This is the movie where they poorly tried to substitute the "Loveable Stoner" characters with the "Bitchy Coke-head." It was the 80s after all!
Kelly Hu also played Barnabas Collins' human (and often reluctant) confederate Dr. Julia Hoffman in the "re-imagining" DARK SHADOWS that the WB slapped together with obvious disdain for everything a couple of years ago. Julia Hoffman was a part immortalized on TV by the mighty Grayson Hall in the 60s and 70s and by horror icon Barbara Steele in the 1990s. Thankfully, someone caught this sparkling abortion in time and few have seen it.
ReplyDeleteOuch, I was spanked yet again. (Good point about the adamantium.)
ReplyDeleteWell, if I'm to be spanked, it might as well be by the Queen...
Jeez, with so many X-men spin-offs in the comics, you'd think this concept would surface there at least.
ReplyDelete"Kelly Hu was killed for her insanely awful choice of suspenders."
ReplyDeleteMan, I almost included a shot of her shoes in this, too. Truly, truly awful. Man, the late 80s-early 90s were a dark time for fashion!
...unrecognizable...
ReplyDeleteChug up the review at filmfreakcentral.net
ReplyDeleteFreddy v Jay
The series is alive and well
I loved the Hu in Pt 8. Run Eva, run!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKelly/Eva also had the distinction of being Jason's only Asian female victim. So far, anyway.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.idolfeatures.com/2013/09/friday-13th-victim-eva-watanabe.html
By the way, I'm only two degrees separated from Kevin Bacon.
The death acting in this scene is next level, he chokes her and throws her across the dance floor, no doubles, no messing, dead.
ReplyDelete