My train of thought looking at the first Bloodrayne poster: "Ben Kingsley in a Uwe Boll movie, what the fuck...what's with his hair?" "Some chick...OHMYGOD LOOK AT THAT HAIR! IS THAT...IS THAT MICHAEL MADSEN?"
So yeah, I didn't read the first sentence of your post, and I'm left wondering if a black bird died on Michael Madsen's head. Reading comprehension rulz.
I do like the expression on Tara Reid's face in the Japanese poster for Alone in the Dark.
"I do like the expression on Tara Reid's face in the Japanese poster for Alone in the Dark."
She am scientist! Scientist smart!
I want to like these films on a craptacular level, but the only one that approaches 'so bad it's good' is House of the Dead. I mean, that one has to be seen to be believed. Alone in the Dark had potential- yes, Tara Reid as a scientist...a scientist in glasses!- but then it was completely boring.
Whoever desiged that Seed poster must have been a big fan of Anthropophagus / The Grim Reaper and what does it say about Boll when even his posterart is ripped from obscure Italian B-Movies ?
Personally, Stacie, I think Alone in the Dark is actually worse than House of the Dead. House didn't have any real actors (except Jurgen Prochnow...poor guy), but for Alone, they hired Christian Slater. And Tara Reid is almost a real actress! Plus, the entire plot makes absolutely no freakin' sense, despite the fact that they lay it all out for you right at the start.
There is no universe so bass-ackwards where Alone in the Dark resembles Blade Runner.
Oh, Alone in the Dark is absolutely worse than House of the Dead, which is a good/bad film. Alone is just...bad. That intro text crawl is priceless, though- that shit goes on forEVER!!
House of the Dead has two great commentaries on it, as Mark Altman on one and Boll on the other take subtle swipes at each other without naming names. I only wish there was a third commentary track featuring Ona Grauer and Jonathan Cherry, or David Palffy.
That Japanese BloodRayne poster is the most BloodRayne esque thing to come out of that movie.
I want to see the second one, because I find Ms. Malthe way too cute to resist.
My favourite part of the Toronto After Dark fest this year was the Q&A with Uwe and him talking about filming challenges: "When you are in Romania and Michael Madsen is drunk and swinging a sword, there is only so much you can do..."
I've seen House of the Dead, but it's been a few years. I don't think Uwe Boll had much to do with House of the Dead 2, but I actually like HotD 2 way more than the first one. I was entertained at least.
Is it just me, or do the foreign posters consistently look cooler than the American posters? The Japanese Alone in the Dark poster looks a LOT better than the vaguely Giger-esqe American counterpart.
My train of thought looking at the first Bloodrayne poster:
ReplyDelete"Ben Kingsley in a Uwe Boll movie, what the fuck...what's with his hair?"
"Some chick...OHMYGOD LOOK AT THAT HAIR! IS THAT...IS THAT MICHAEL MADSEN?"
So yeah, I didn't read the first sentence of your post, and I'm left wondering if a black bird died on Michael Madsen's head. Reading comprehension rulz.
I do like the expression on Tara Reid's face in the Japanese poster for Alone in the Dark.
"I do like the expression on Tara Reid's face in the Japanese poster for Alone in the Dark."
ReplyDeleteShe am scientist! Scientist smart!
I want to like these films on a craptacular level, but the only one that approaches 'so bad it's good' is House of the Dead. I mean, that one has to be seen to be believed. Alone in the Dark had potential- yes, Tara Reid as a scientist...a scientist in glasses!- but then it was completely boring.
The japanese poster for alone in the dark makes me think of Blade Runner.
ReplyDelete1. I get chided for being a huge fan of "Van Helsing". I need to remind all the haters that "Bloodrayne" exists.
ReplyDelete2. Ben Kingsley should be ashamed of himself.
Whoever desiged that Seed poster must have been a big fan of Anthropophagus / The Grim Reaper and what does it say about Boll when even his posterart is ripped from obscure Italian B-Movies ?
ReplyDeletePersonally, Stacie, I think Alone in the Dark is actually worse than House of the Dead. House didn't have any real actors (except Jurgen Prochnow...poor guy), but for Alone, they hired Christian Slater. And Tara Reid is almost a real actress! Plus, the entire plot makes absolutely no freakin' sense, despite the fact that they lay it all out for you right at the start.
ReplyDeleteThere is no universe so bass-ackwards where Alone in the Dark resembles Blade Runner.
Oh, Alone in the Dark is absolutely worse than House of the Dead, which is a good/bad film. Alone is just...bad. That intro text crawl is priceless, though- that shit goes on forEVER!!
ReplyDeleteHouse of the Dead has two great commentaries on it, as Mark Altman on one and Boll on the other take subtle swipes at each other without naming names. I only wish there was a third commentary track featuring Ona Grauer and Jonathan Cherry, or David Palffy.
ReplyDeleteThat Japanese BloodRayne poster is the most BloodRayne esque thing to come out of that movie.
I want to see the second one, because I find Ms. Malthe way too cute to resist.
Aw, for the love of Uwe!
ReplyDeleteMy favourite part of the Toronto After Dark fest this year was the Q&A with Uwe and him talking about filming challenges: "When you are in Romania and Michael Madsen is drunk and swinging a sword, there is only so much you can do..."
I love the poster. Those film also looks like a good movie to watch.
ReplyDeleteI had no plans to ever see Alone in the Dark until you mentioned the "intro text crawl". Now I'm looking forward to it.
ReplyDeleteThis weekend I paid $14.99 to watch I Know Who Killed Me on hotel room on-demand. How much did you pay for that Shriekfest enchilada ?
I've seen House of the Dead, but it's been a few years. I don't think Uwe Boll had much to do with House of the Dead 2, but I actually like HotD 2 way more than the first one. I was entertained at least.
ReplyDeleteIs it just me, or do the foreign posters consistently look cooler than the American posters? The Japanese Alone in the Dark poster looks a LOT better than the vaguely Giger-esqe American counterpart.
ReplyDelete