Dear y'all,Guess what? It's time for the 1st annual Splatcademy Awards, and little ol' Final Girl has been nominated for a "Spooky"!
The fine folks over at Dead Lantern have put Final Girl on the short list for "best horror blog or website not named Dead Lantern", which is just awesome. I think I'm the only true blog on the list, which includes such internerd heavies as Dread Central and Arrow in the Head. Now it's up to readers to download a ballot and vote vote vote, which you can do by clicking right here. Yes, there's a typo proclaiming my category to be "best horror blob...", but I'm trying not to take it personally.
Tell me I'm pretty!
You might be saying to yourself, "Wait, I thought Stacie had such a cavalier attitude towards awards- so cavalier that said attitude included cuss words- so what's with all the 'Wow, look at me, I think I'm so big'-ness now?"
Siiiiigh. You're partially right, of course, and I know exactly which cuss-filled award-hating rant you're referencing. If you remember correctly, though, my awards hate-on doesn't apply to awards potentially or actually given to me.
...I should probably point out that any time I win an award, it's totally and completely well-deserved, like when I won the French Award in high school. And no, unfortunately I didn't win the French Award in the Kissing Division- that honor went to Alisha J...that whore!So there you go. Vote for me, if you want to. If you don't want to, then I hope you vote for Bleeding Skull, because Bleeding Skull rocks.
Vote now! Yay!
You don't scare me with your threats and your foul language, Stacie Ponder! That's not why I voted for you! I voted with my HEART. And when I downloaded the ballot and opened it, my heart said "Pan's Labyrinth!"
ReplyDelete... and "Hatchet!"
... and Ivana whatsername!
... and Man this is a long ballot
... very long
...
...
And then when I got to the very bottom of the list it said "Final Girl!" My heart still liked you even though that was lot of work.
I figured for this go-round I'd use threats and swear words...then when I bring up the contest again in a week or so, I'll use compliments and promises of cookies to garner votes.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate all your hard work, and I'll endeavor to make 2008 a gret year at Final Girl...
...IF I WIN.
If I don't, well, there's just no telling what I'll do.
No telling, I tells ya!
My vote is in. Since I am treating it as a secret ballot I'm really not supposed to tell you that I vote for you, but I totally did. Threats and foul language apparently work on me! ...who knew?
ReplyDeleteBut here is the real question. Will there be a moment of controversy, will you still accept the award if the Best Villain category goes to one Leslie Vernon? (breaking the rules of secret ballot again I'll admit that I did not vote for Vernon)
Yes, your the coolest, prettiest, and smartest blog. Now can we see you naked???
ReplyDelete( kidding... sortof)
Hey that's great. I just recently stumbled upon this blog and it's already become on of my favorites, and it keeps me clicking back for updates every... hour or so.
ReplyDeleteSo you wholeheartedly deserve the award.
If you don't get it, pull a Kanye.
Go, Team Final Girl!
ReplyDeleteIf eponymy is destiny, you will leave the others impaled, gouged, eviscerated, disemboweled, cloven, shredded, stabbed, and frappéd as you stagger, bloody, hysterical, but alive to the winner's circle.
(Hey, my verification code is "sayxc." Is that some sort of hillbilly spelling of the act of love?)
"The check is the mail"
ReplyDeleteOf course I voted for you!
Chuckwilson
You've been duly voted for...and there was much rejoicing!
ReplyDeleteI could not get the voting mechanism to work. What am I doing wrong? Just for the record:
ReplyDeleteA) You are pretty.
B) I'd vote for you in each and every category.
C) You're also PLUCKY, which could come in handy if we survive to the third reel.
Downloaded, answered and emailed back. The vote has been submitted. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are beyond awesome. THANKS!!
ReplyDeleteWait, I figured it out. Read the instructions. Apparently I wouldn't make it through the first reel...
ReplyDeleteWell, other than your nomination, those folks seem to be total knobs.
ReplyDeletePan's Labyrinth was from 2006, Planet Terror was much better than Death Proof, and it's sort of foolish to hide 28 Weeks Later off in the foreign film section.
But this isn't about them, this is about you and I duly voted accordingly.
Now... lets hear some more about that whore Alisha...
Yeah, I'm with ODH. I'll vote for you (tomorrow--I've had enough civic duty for one day), but I'd rather vote for you because you're funny and have a distinctive voice than because--well, because the other ones aren't blogs. How do I know? Because if you visit those sites, you'll find links to the contributors' blogs. Might as well put you up against Fangoria.com.
ReplyDeleteExclamation Mark? Mondo Schlocko? Attention Deficit Disorderly? Hello?
I mean, you'd still whup their asses handily, but they should've at least had the chance to lose to you.
Hmm. Just realized I'm more worked up about this than the primaries.
Yeah, I'm pretty much the lone blog in a sea of advertising-laden news sites. Mayhaps there should have been 2 categories? Meh, who can say. As corny as it sounds, I'm psyched to be included amongst such heavy-hitters.
ReplyDeleteAnd in the words of Bartles and Jaymes, my bursitis is acting up.
Wait, I mean...thank you for your support.