Well, I guess you'll just have to read the review to find out, lazypants! Nyah!I've been such a lame that I've neglected to mention my last two columns at AMC, so if you wanna read all about Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer, or Bette Davis's work in the horror genre, then knock yourself out whilst you're over there.
So basically, I've been writing for another site and neglecting FG, which makes me feel like a cheater. I swear, baby, I'll never do it again! Too woo you back, I've just this very minute decided to have an EVENT WEEK next week, huzzah! In fact, I'm going to put up a little poll so you can help me decide what kind of movies to watch & review next week. The choices would include "crap on my DVR", but once again Dish Network went all ten kinds of nutcake and all my recordings were wiped clean. Once again, I say: FUCK YOU, DISH NETWORK. Sadly, Crap On My DVR Week will have to wait. Fuck technology.
edit: the poll is up! Vote, bitches!
Why are you calling me a bitch? You don't know me. So stop calling me a bitch, or I'll tell.
ReplyDeleteAh ha! So the Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer post does still exist, it's just like an AMC easter egg now?
ReplyDeleteMy vote is for the Drive-In movie pack if only because I need to motivate myself to watch a few more of the movies from that too.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and find a way to backup all the stuff on my Dish Network DVR...
Wasn't Crystal Pepsi a caffeine-free beverage?
ReplyDeleteGore aside, I found MIRRORS to be on-par with an ABC Tuesday Night Movie of the Week. I pondered the entire film why Jaclyn Smith wasn't playing The Keifster's role, trying to save her family peppered with commercials for K-Mart in-between.
ReplyDeleteSwitch to DirecTV, woman.
ReplyDeleteAnd great piece on Bette Davis. Maybe your best yet.
I don't know from caffeine, Kmart...all I know is that kids love invisible cola, and therefore I love invisible cola!
ReplyDeleteEroslane, I agree with you. For me the middle chunk of Mirrors was lacking, but I loved the early pre-family drama stuff...and the end was so ridiculously over the top I couldn't help but dig it.
Thanks, Bill! Honestly, I'd rather switch to nothing. Stupid TV!
Wait, do they still make Crystal Pepsi? I feel cheated if they still do...that and Pepsi Twist. Boy, that one had great commercials. Especially when Halle Berry unzips and reveals she's Barry Bostwick. XD
ReplyDeleteWere you a fans of the High Tensions? I wuz not so keen on the psycho-lesbo ending ... not so much because it was homophobic (anyone can be a psycho ... equal opportunity), but because it mades the no sense and killed it for me.
ReplyDeletegod you never do ANYTHING
ReplyDeleteI thought the High Tension twist was a great idea that the makers obviously didn't come up with until they'd already filmed 95% of the movie.
ReplyDeleteI mean, on one hand, it's a really cool psychological angle for a horror film, playing on those weird self-aggrandizing rescue fantasies. On the other hand, where'd the fucking van come from?
Death by credenza earns a lot of goodwill from me, but not enough to overlook plotholes THAT obvious.
I agree with the gil mann. If it was like the Sixth Sense, where once it was revealed it was like "oh!" instead of "huh?"
ReplyDeleteNot only where did the van come from, but what about the severed head the killer is playing with at the beginning? Doesn't work so much with the girl parts. (not that it really works with boy parts either, but you get the drift.)
Mirrors is getting solid pans. Think I'll skip it.
You're so funny, Stacie.
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