they're so lame, Brewster!

At AMC this week, I'm talking about the big lameoids of horror who, one assumes, are supposed to be scary but aren't. The "...Movie Monsters" in the title may be a bit misleading unless you use a broad definition of the word "monsters", which...I don't know, maybe you will, maybe you won't. I can't solve all of your problems.

And you know who's on the list, right? A little (and I do mean little) someone who happens to be in this photograph:

Ack, Rumplestiltskin is so at the forefront of my brain lately! Why is that? I can feel the urge to watch the movie growing in my consciousness. "It's so good!" I think to myself, even when I look at the picture above, which...let's face it- it should probably be put on trial for crimes against humanity. There's some kind of subliminal mind-controlling frequency in that film, I swear. That's the only reasonable explanation for the hold it has over me. It's like Jim Jones himself shat that thing into existence.

Fucketh me!