Now, you may be thinking "Umm, where's the Texas Chainsaw variety? Moron!". To this I say "Patience, my pets. Next week. Surely the film deserves its own AMPF edition, yes?"
You may not know: many films feature "massacre" in their alternate titles. Por ejemplo, Strange Behavior is also known as Small Town Massacre; The Nesting is also known as Massacre Mansion, and The Final Terror is also known as Campsite Massacre. Dazzle your friends with useless knowledge!
Yes, I realize that Nail Gun Massacre is actually a VHS box, but it's not as if the film ever saw a theatrical release. I've been thinking about NGM a lot lately, and I've been struck by the urge to watch it again- if I indulge, it will surely be my undoing.
In other news, I desperately want to see Meat Cleaver Massacre. A killer with tiny heads on his fingertips? Sign me up!
Don't forget Drive-In Massacre!
ReplyDeleteThe people who made NAIL GUN MASSACRE actually had The Cinema Snob's YouTube channel taken down because he dared make fun of their masterpiece.
ReplyDeleteI guess they don't realise that his video review is probably the most entertainment anyone has ever gotten out of their movie.
Or DEMENTED DEATH FARM MASSACRE.
ReplyDeleteWhy couldn't ZOMBIE ISLAND MASSACRE be half as cool as it's poster? Is that too much to ask?
ReplyDeleteEffective posters....
ReplyDeleteI want to Netflix each of those movies.
Random thoughts (the type I most have when planning a massacre)-
ReplyDeleteThe "Hospital Massacre" tagline would work better if the title was "Massacre Hospital".
The kids on the left side of the last poster are threatening me with a knife; the kids on the right with.. the world's largest cigarettes?
It's nice to see them using the internal meat thermometer in the "La Massacre Del Microondas" poster- it's important to raise the internal temperature of your head to 165 degrees to prevent salmonella.
Verification word: coushin- what you sit on on a "cooch".
That "Microwave Massacre" poster is off the hook.
ReplyDeleteAnd by "off the hook," I mean completely nasty.
And by "completely nasty," I mean I want to see it.
I've decided that I want to watch every one of these movies, but I can't seem to find 5 of them -- Hospital, Sorority House, Central High, Sumber PArty, and Meatcleaver --- actually SH, SP and CH are available by torrent, but Hospital and Meatcleaver are MIA. Any suggestions that don't involve me spending money?
ReplyDeleteThe only suggestion I have that doesn't involve paying somehow is to borrow it from a friend. :)
ReplyDeleteStacie, can I borrow Meatcleaver Massacre and Hospital Massacre?
ReplyDeleteSorry, I should have been more specific. From friends who own them. I, alas, do not. Nor have I seen them!
ReplyDelete