The football-with-a-sword attached is really an inefficient weapon. You have to build the thing, then figure out a way to carry it around without anyone noticing, and then you have to find someone stupid enough to catch it.I'm not sure what this says about me. Simply that it's time to watch Graduation Day? Or is it a cry for help? Should I dive deeper into the world of horror movies, or get the eff out? Madonna was so right: life really is a mystery!
Madonna is usually right, and she was particularly right on THIS.
ReplyDeletePeople see a football and they go blind to details like a sword. Footballs are such a deep rooted symbol we're powerless against it. Like the zombie child in Night of the Living Dead, mom can only pretend her daughter's fine and well, even as the trowel goes in, and out. That's why swords should, nay MUST, be included in footballs throughout this land, to wake the country up to their sports blinders so they can rise up and then kill all the jocks.
ReplyDeleteI still don't think there's any way for that weapon to not only be aerodynamically functional but to A) have enough force behind it to actually impale someone with or B) to have good enough aim to even hit the target in the first place. It just seems impossible in every way. Unless Doug Flutie was the murderer or something, I don't know. But it troubles me, too.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me wonder what other weapon/sporting equipment combos exist. Is there a spear attached to a soccer ball? Or a tennis ball full of little ninja stars? A flamethrower attached to a bicycle? The combinations are endless.
ReplyDeleteThere's also the javelin pad covered in spikes. I guess the real reason for the football sword is that the killer belongs to some sport related murder union. He wanted to just stab someone with a sword and move on with his life, but realized this wasn't sporty enough, so he glued a football to the end of it. Makes total sense.
ReplyDeleteLove Graduation Day...the hysterical piano teacher..the acting chops of Vanna White and Christopher George, always welcome in any flick.. best $2.99 DVD purchase ever!!!!
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