VHS Week Day 7: Q- The Winged Serpent (1982)

Y'all've been telling me since the beginning of time to fix my peepers on Q, but for whatever reason I never took the advice to heart. Maybe it's because I always want to like movies from writer/director Larry Cohen more than I actually do? Maybe I was never in the mood for a monster movie?

MAYBE I'M JUST A MORON BECAUSE HOLY CRAP Q IS SO GREAT WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG.

Is it overstating things to say that it's one of the best B movies I've ever seen? I don't know, and I don't really care. All I know is that I was not expecting to have so much fun watching it...yes, even though you guys have been telling me. It's a humbling lesson I've learned, I'll never doubt you again, etc etc.

A series of Aztec-flavored human sacrifices leads to the resurrection of the Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent deity. Quetzalcoatl roosts in the Chrysler Building and flies around Manhattan chomping on New Yorkers whilst the police try to stop Quetzalcoatl and the human sacrifices, the end. This is the stuff dreams are made of, my friends! Especially when it's early-80s Manhattan, full of gangsters and assorted other bada bing baba dook types, and especially especially when the cops on the case are played by David Carradine and Richard Roundtree.

And especially especially ESPECIALLY when things like this happen:

THOSE GANGLY LIMBS. Glorious, ain't it? Scenes like that are why movies were invented.

I love that everyone plays the material straight (especially Michael Moriarty as a weaselly two-bit crook), but a little twinkle in their eyes belies the fun they're having with the material. I love that every random kill scene is set up a bit like the opening scenes from Law & Order–you know, like, two construction workers will talk about sandwiches on their lunch break when OH MY GAHD THERE'S A DEAD BODY. In Q, it's more like two construction workers talk about sandwiches on their lunch break when OH MY GAHD ONE JUST GOT HIS HEAD BIT CLEAN OFF BY AN ANCIENT AZTEC GIANT FLYING LIZARD BIRD. It happens over and over again, and I could never get enough of it. Ever.

Boy oh boy, what a way to end VHS Week, I tell ya! Listen, I'd really like to thank you all for introducing me to Q. You're all invited to our nuptials, which will of course take place on the roof of a skyscraper. I can't promise that you won't die when Q flips out and tosses you off that roof, but it will fill me with so much delight that it'll be worth it!