News you can...well "use" seems strong, but

It's been a while. How are you? Are you too worried about the grippe, or not worried enough? Have you bought all of the toilet paper available in your neighborhood? How are you spending your quarantine? I will not lie, my swamp hag shut-in lifestyle actually lends itself quite well to this whole early-apocalypse scenario! It's those poor fools who enjoy things like "sunshine" and "fresh air" that have to worry. I always knew those things would ultimately be bad for me, and trust, my rickets and I are ride this one out just fine.

But! As the world burns and our lungs fill, there are other matters at hand. Important matters. Final Girl matters! Here are some of them:

Okay, fine, I haven't been posting here nearly as often as I should. But that ain't mean I don't still got lukewarm opinions sitting/dissolving under a heat lamp! They just require visiting places besides this website, which I know is hard. You've had this site and only this site open since what, 2005 or so? And your refreshes hardly ever bear cyberfruit.

However, if you've picked up issues of Rue Morgue in the last few months (and why wouldn't you? RM is the best), then perhaps you've seen my name, for it is there I've been a-reviewin'. One film I've seen and talked about for the magazine is Blood on Her Name, which SPOILER ALERT I dug a whole bunch. It's more neo-noir thriller than horror for sure, but who cares? It's intense and anchored by Bethany Anne Lind's fantastic performance. Rue Morgue posted an exclusive clip, which I'm posting here! Highly recommended.


The podcast I co-host, Gaylords of Darkness, continues apace with new episodes every Wednesday. We spent all of February (and then some) on a series we call Great Value Slashers, wherein we discuss slasher flicks that fall outside of the major franchises. Mind you, Great Value Slashers can and do vary wildly in quality--sure, we talk about the greatest of the Greats, like My Bloody Valentine, but we also talk about...whatever the fuck Nail Gun Massacre is.

I love them both! I love every movie we talked about, from Curtains to Don't Go in the Woods...Alone! to everything in between. In fact, the Great Value Slashers really reignited my love of the subgenre. Slashers are the reason I started this dang blog in the first place! They're the formative horror films of my youth! Rewatching the slashers of yore is a terrific way to spend some time. I admit I'm reticent to watch many (most) (all?) of the modern ones, but revisiting classics and trash-ics alike still holds a thrill. I'm looking at them with new eyes (or, to be more exact, older, worse eyes) and it's often a bit like seeing them for the first time. My tastes have changed since Final Girl was born, and I'm a different kind of viewer. A better one, I think. Or, at least, I want a little more out of horror movies than a demand that it scares me or I can make fun of it.

We'll be dropping a Great Value Slasher episode from time to time--there are so many movies to talk about, and my co-host Anthony and I have such fun with them--so give us a subscribe if you like! Gaylords of Darkness is available wherever you find podcasts, or you listen to episodes right on our website.

Lastly, Final Girl is nominated for a Rondo Award! Wholly unexpected, super wholly flattering. Here's a link to the ballot. It's all done by email (ballots are due by March 29th) and the list of nominees is a bit daunting. I'm down under Best Website. If you feel Final Girl deserves that, then gimme a vote why don'tcha.

Is that all the news? I think it is. I didn't like The Lodge. Maybe I would have if I hadn't already seen Goodnight Mommy and really disliked its last 20 minutes or so. Oh well. I'm excited for Saint Maud next month! Aren't you glad you know that now? Scratch this post title...this is all news you can definitely use.