It is not exactly a we interrupt this program-style breaking news flash to say that John Carpenter's The Thing is one of the absolute greatest horror films of all time. Why, you only have to look upon the readers' faves lists of SHOCKtobers past for all the evidence you need: The Thing is always chilling right near the tip top o' the list. "But Stacie," you say. "You always stress that readers should submit their favorite films, not the films they think are the best. So really, The Thing being on the list only indicates that people like it, not that it's any good."
To this I say pfffft. Yeah, it's a list of favorites...but you seem to be forgetting that Final Girl readers have exquisite taste. It's by default, not design, that they only choose the finest, primest prime cuts of horror, just like this blog's proprietress! Now leave me alone, I have to go watch Cathy's Curse for the millionth time.
Oh wait, I need to finish today's character spotlight first. Who oh whomst shall it be? Why it's...
R.J. MacCREADY'S HAT IN THE THING (1982)
That fucking hat defies all laws of physics and common sense! When MacReady--undoubtedly one of the coolest characters to ever grace a screen--dons it for his helicopter journey, it's one of the biggest, most baffling jump scares in the film. And mind you, this is a movie that features a dog turning into space spaghetti! That shit looks like something out of the Frank Gehry line for Stetson or something. It breaks my brain every time it makes its appearance. It lingers with me long after the credits roll; While some may be wondering if MacReady or Childs is the thing, I'm still wondering how that hat came to be, what it actually is, and whether the fact that it sits on R.J. MacCready's head makes it automatically cool despite its obvious uncoolness. I guess it does?
At the risk of sounding like Cathy...ack! This hat is raising so many questions and conundrums...I should have chosen a character with much simpler reasoning. Like Blair! I love him because he's crazy and cranky, the end!
For my Harry Potter-The Thing mash-up fanfic, MacCready's hat escapes the destruction of the outpost. Getting a job as the Sorting Hat at Hogwarts, it divvies up the new students into their house while also infecting them...BECAUSE IT'S THE THING!!!
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