Dec 2, 2024

Hot for Horror's Hot Babes

At the risk of sounding like Garfield: Mondays, amirite? Who needs 'em. Where's my lasagna lmao. Well, to brighten up this grey and gloomy Monday, I thought for a bit about all things Amityville. Now to be fair, I think about all things Amityville no matter the day, no matter the weather! But today I got to thinking about James Brolin and Margot Kidder in the 1979 film and what a hot babe couple they made. Then I thought...hmm, what about some other hot babe couples in horror movies? And that is how this list you are about to see came to be here, a list called Hot Babe Couples in Horror Movies.

Are they ranked? No! They are all tied for #1. Is this definitive? Who cares! They are the couples I immediately thought of. You are welcome to cite any other hot babe couples in horror movies. Viva les lists! 

HOT BABE COUPLES IN HORROR MOVIES

GEORGE AND KATHY LUTZ IN THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (1979)


If someone makes a movie about my fake paranormal experiences, I can only hope that I will be portrayed by someone as hot as Margot Kidder or James Brolin at the height of their hot powers.

ALISON PARKER AND MICHAEL LERMAN IN THE SENTINEL (1977)


Chris Sarandon and Cristina Raines really put the hot in this hot mess of a movie!

MARGARET WALSH AND PETE DANNER IN THE LEGACY (1978)


I love The Legacy perhaps more than it deserves. But even if I didn't, I'd watch it anyway just for the sweatered-up romance between real life couple Sam Elliott and Katharine Ross.

PICKETT SMITH AND KAREN CROCKETT IN FROGS (1972)


They only knew each other for like fifteen minutes before the frogs took over the Crockett compound, but no matter. Sam Elliott without his moustache? Also no matter. Look at those babes!

SUSIE BANNION AND SARA SIMMS IN SUSPIRIA (2018)


I keep hoping their story will play out differently, but no matter how many times I watch this movie it never does. Huh, weird.

RHONDA JOHNSON AND HER OVERSIZED NOVELTY SAFETY PIN IN KILLER WORKOUT (1987)


The couple that slays together, etc etc. I know I said this list wasn't a ranking, but let's be real. None of the other couples can compete. The tanning bed wasn't the only time Rhonda was sizzling!

JESS AND PETER IN BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)


So toxic! So violent! So...babes!

BOB AND LYNDA IN HALLOWEEN (1978)


Every slasher movie with a Final Girl needs at least one Not Final Girl, and boy oh boy is Lynda a Not Final Girl. She hates school but loves Doing It, two qualities that rarely let a woman survive until the end credits roll. I love her. And I love Bob, who shows up in the film solely to screw and get killed.

RED AND DUANE IN PSYCHO III (1986)



What are they doing! Absolutely bonkers and so sleazy I caught crabs just looking at those screencaps.

KURT BARLOW AND RICHARD STRAKER IN SALEM'S LOT (1979)



You heard me! If Mr. Barlow didn't have that whole "vampire" issue, these two would be running an antiques shop together and dishing with Paul Lynde out in Palm Springs. For real though, Salem's Lot is...really something when it comes to gay shit. Whilst reading, I downed a shot of Franzia every time a character uttered a slur or said something hateful in the novel and I've been dead for decades.

Okay, I just thought of, like, four more couples that I didn't include. Sigh. Mondays, amirite?

Oct 31, 2024

SHOCKtober: 10-1


*drumrolldrumrolldrumroll* It's time! It's finally time! So pull up your pants (or pull them down, if you prefer) and brace yourself for your SHOCKtober 2024 Top 10 favorite horror films! Yes, ackshully tecknikly there are four movies tied for third so their order is just made up, but that's how we do it here in Stately Final Girl Manor. The number of votes each film received is in bold.


10. THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999, Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez) -- 40


9. BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974, Bob Clark) -- 40



8. THE DESCENT (2005, Neil Marshall) -- 42


7. THE WITCH (2015, Robert Eggers) -- 45



6. SUSPIRIA (2018, Luca Guadagnino) -- 49



5. SCREAM (1996, Wes Craven) -- 49



4. HALLOWEEN (1978, John Carpenter) -- 49



3. ALIEN (1979, Ridley Scott) -- 49



2. THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE (1974, Tobe Hooper) -- 52



1. THE THING (1982, John Carpenter) -- 62


SHE DID IT! SHE FINALLY DID IT! After spending three SHOCKtobers in the #2 spot, The Thing has scuttled far and away with the title this time around. Please, a round of awed, reverent applause for Miss SHOCKtobra 2024!

I'm so happy for her, she is truly the Susan Lucci of horror movies. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre made a huge leap, perhaps fueled by its 50th anniversary this year? Suspiria (2018) coming in at ackshully tecknikly 3rd is not as far a fall as I was anticipating...I guess you guys really like it?? Hmm, we shall see how all of these hold up in the future. Very exciting! I love SHOCKtober! I can't believe it's already SHOCKtover. I'll be back soon with a li'l wrap-up thingy and a link to the downloadable mega-list whenever I figure out how to do that. For now though, I'm gonna untie myself from this fucking couch!

Oct 30, 2024

SHOCKtober: 20-11


Le Top 20 begins! The bold number is the number of votes each film received. How are movies that received the same number of votes ranked and not tied? That's none of my business! Let the historians figure it out when this blog is unearthed 50 years from now.


20. The Cabin in the Woods (2011, Drew Goddard) -- 23



19. It Follows (2014, David Robert Mitchell) -- 24


18. The Silence of the Lambs (1991, Jonathan Demme) -- 26


17. The Haunting (1963, Robert Wise) -- 26


16. The Exorcist (1973, William Friedkin) -- 30


15. The Wicker Man (1973, Robin Hardy) -- 31


14. Rosemary's Baby (1968, Roman Polanski) -- 31


13. Hereditary (2018, Ari Aster) -- 32


12. Suspiria (1977, Dario Argento) -- 35


11. The Shining (1980, Stanley Kubrick) -- 39

Interesting, interesting! A few moved up and hit the Top 20 for the first time while others are...exactly where they placed in 2020 (it always freaks me out when that happens). Even though many of them received roughly the same number of votes, placements vary quite a bit as there were way more voters overall in 2020 (haranguing people on a weekly podcast nets results!). In the interests of science, here is where each of these films ranked in that SHOCKtober of yore:

  • The Cabin in the Woods -- #39, 24 votes
  • It Follows -- #24, 32 votes
  • The Silence of the Lambs -- #23, 32 votes
  • The Haunting -- #20, 39 votes
  • The Exorcist -- #17, 42 votes
  • The Wicker Man -- #22, 32 votes
  • Rosemary's Baby -- #12, 50 votes
  • Hereditary -- #13, 50 votes
  • Suspiria (1977) -- #14, 46 votes
  • The Shining -- #5, 64 votes
Candyman, Carrie, Midsommar, and A Nightmare on Elm Street were in the 20-11 range in 2020 but dropped out of the Top 20 this time.

Well, we shall meet back here tomorrow to find out who will be named Miss SHOCKtobra 2024! I can't wait. Until then, I leave you with this, from a reader on Suspiria '77: "I once took LSD and watched Suspiria. 10/10, would do again if I wasn’t middle aged and afraid I might die."

Oct 29, 2024

SHOCKtober: 44-21


We've got more than 700 horror movies in our rear window (including #624, Rear Window), but today's the day we stop being polite and start getting real--by which I mean the I'll be adding the number of votes each film received in bold.

44. Sleepaway Camp -- 1983, Robert Hiltzik -- 13
43. Possession -- 1981, Andrzej Zulawski -- 13
42. Noroi: The Curse -- 2005, Kôji Shiraishi -- 13
41. Invasion of the Body Snatchers -- 1978, Philip Kaufman -- 13
40. Dawn of the Dead -- 1978, George A. Romero -- 13
39. Us -- 2019, Jordan Peele -- 14 
38. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me -- 1992, David Lynch -- 14
37. Poltergeist -- 1982, Tobe Hooper -- 14
36. Let the Right One In -- 2008, Tomas Alfredson -- 14
35. The Return of the Living Dead -- 1985, Dan O'Bannon -- 15
34. Hellraiser -- 1987, Clive Barker -- 15
33. Get Out -- 2017, Jordan Peele -- 16
32. Friday the 13th -- 1980, Sean S. Cunningham -- 16
31. Evil Dead II -- 1987, Sam Raimi -- 17
30. Carnival of Souls -- 1962, Herk Harvey -- 18
29. An American Werewolf in London -- 1981, John Landis -- 18
28. A Nightmare on Elm Street -- 1984, Wes Craven -- 20
27. Psycho -- 1960, Alfred Hitchcock -- 21
26. The Fog -- 1980, John Carpenter -- 22
25. Midsommar -- 2019, Ari Aster -- 22
24. Jaws -- 1975, Steven Spielberg -- 22
23. Candyman -- 1992, Bernard Rose -- 22
22. Night of the Living Dead -- 1968, George A. Romero -- 23
21. Carrie -- 1976, Brian De Palma -- 23

  • Noroi, another movie that is pretty easily accessible at long last. I love the way it's structured--it really takes its time laying out all sorts of disparate threads and plotlines, only for them all to come together satisfyingly (and terrifyingly). One of the greatest found footage films.
  • A reader on Jaws: "I love Ellen Brody screaming at her kids to listen to their father and get out of the boat only after seeing a picture of a shark obliterating a similar boat."
  • Herk Harvey had such an interesting career, directing a shitton of educational/PSA shorts and then oh, fucking all-time classic Carnival of Souls (wherein he also starred as the head ghoul guy).
  • A reader on Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, WHICH PLEASE NOTE I HAVE NOT SEEN YET AND I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND I AM DYING TO SEE BUT WE WILL NOT COVER IT UNTIL, LIKE, FEBRUARY ON THE PODCAST AND THE WAIT IS EXCRUCIATING I CAN'T WAIT: "I feel more awe than affection for this one. I watched and liked the series (I was 19 when it first ran) but disliked Wild at Heart because it seemed loud and empty - like Lynch was trying too hard to solidify his brand as Mr. Weird.  This film’s opening section with the FBI agents seemed like more of the same, but once the setting changed to Twin Peaks it turned into the most disturbing experience I’ve ever had watching a film. Only a few other individual scenes from other movies have matched it – Club Silencio in Mulholland Dr., for example, or the moment in Martyrs when we discover who has been pursuing Lucie through the early part of the film. 32 years later, I still haven't given this a second viewing."
  • I figured that all the votes for Psycho were about the eeeelite song from K-pop's own Red Velvet, but I guess the votes were actually for some movie...? Huh.

  • Tomorrow, le Top 20 begins! Try to get some sleep tonight, it'll be a big day!

Oct 28, 2024

SHOCKtober: 68-45


You know what, I'm just gonna shut up and get outta the way because man, we got nothin' but bangers today. It's kind of been that way every day, but today, wow. Okay, shutting up now. Let's get to it with movies that are perfect ten vote getters. 

68. Raw -- 2016, Julia Ducournau
67. Pulse (aka Kairo) -- 2001, Kiyoshi Kurosawa
66. Mullholland Dr. -- 2001, David Lynch
65. Don't Look Now -- 1973, Nicolas Roeg

Time to crank it up to films that received eleven votes each:

64. The House of the Devil -- 2009, Ti West
63. The Evil Dead -- 1981, Sam Raimi
62. REC -- 2007, Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza
61. Messiah of Evil -- 1974, Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz
60. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II -- 1987, Bruce Pittman
59. Ghostwatch -- 1992, Lesley Manning
58. Fright Night -- 1985, Tom Holland
57. The Exorcist III -- 1990, William Peter Blatty
56. Deep Red (aka Profondo rosso) -- 1975, Dario Argento
55. Daughters of Darkness -- 1971, Harry Kümel
54. Cat People -- 1942, Jacques Tourneur
53. Bride of Frankenstein -- 1935, James Whale
52. Barbarian -- 2022, Zach Cregger
51. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors -- 1987, Chuck Russell 
50. 28 Days Later -- 2002, Danny Boyle

Ooh, now it's time for twelve not-angry...vote-receiving...movies...............
  
49. Train to Busan -- 2016, Yeon Sang-ho 
48. House (aka Hausu) -- 1977, Nobuhiko Ôbayashi
47. Halloween III: Season of the Witch -- 1982, Tommy Lee Wallace

13 votes each! Spooky!
  
46. Trick 'r Treat -- 2007, Michael Dougherty
45. The Fly -- 1986, David Cronenberg

  • Pulse is terrifying, depressing, prescient...its 20th Anniversary passed during the pandemic and I wrote a feature for Rue Morgue celebrating it and tying it to that particular time. One of my favorite things I've written, I won't lie!
  • Awww yeah Messiah of motherfucking Evil!! I will continue to spread my Messiah of Evil agenda forever.
  • A reader on The Evil Dead: "Bunch of us cousins would rent this every Christmas when I was a pre-teen/teen. Every time I watch I think of Christmas with the family."
  • I love those kinds of ties we get with specific horror movies. When I think of The Evil Dead, I think of the friend I watched it with who made me take the tape out of the VCR when it was over--she didn't want to touch it because she was sure it was cursed.
  • Barbarian was a late late night random "eh, why not throw this on" flick and hot dang what a flick it was! Loved it.
  • A reader on The Exorcist III: "Kinderman talking about the carp in his bathtub plays on a perpetual loop deep in the recesses of my brain." 
  • It's great that Ghostwatch is so readily available now (I only saw it Back in the (Relative) Day because of the wonders that having a region-free DVD player can bring) and it still holds up so well, even if you know...you know. But wow, what it must have been to see it Back in the (Actual) Day and not know. You know?

Oct 27, 2024

SHOCKtober: 92-69


We are closing in on the end of SHOCKtober, folks. Kind of hard to believe, isn't it? But it's true, and I'll tell you how I know. You might be thinking "Uh, you looked at the calendar?" and yes, that's one way how I can tell. But there's another way, and that's that late last night I came around a dark corner of my building and was startled by my neighbor standing there, dressed like a candy corn. You might be thinking "Don't assume to know all of your neighbor's proclivities!" and while that's certainly good advice, I can say with confidence that he was dressed as a candy corn because of the fast-approaching holiday, not exclusively because of some kink. (I can't say for sure whether or not that played a part in it, of course--I don't know him that well.) So yes, not to boast but I know SHOCKtober is almost over because of the date on the calendar and also because my obviously superior powers of deduction.

But we've still got movies to go before we sleep, including these, for which eight votes was enough!

92. The Brood -- 1979, David Cronenberg
91. The Birds -- 1963, Alfred Hitchcock
90. Shaun of the Dead -- 2004, Edgar Wright
89. Salem's Lot -- 1979, Tobe Hooper
88. Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror -- 1922, F.W. Murnau
87. Misery -- 1990, Rob Reiner
86. Longlegs -- 2024, Osgood Perkins
85. Lake Mungo -- 2008, Joel Anderson
84. Jennifer's Body -- 2009, Karyn Kusama
83. Hell House LLC -- 2015, Stephen Cognetti
82. Creepshow -- 1982, George A. Romero

Aw yiss it's so fine to countdown films with votes numbering nine.

(Sorry.)

81. The Ring -- 2002, Gore Verbinski
80. The Innocents -- 1961, Jack Clayton
79. The Blob -- 1988, Chuck Russell
78. Re-Animator -- 1985, Stuart Gordon
77. Phantasm -- 1979, Don Coscarelli
76. Nope -- 2022, Jordan Peele
75. Let's Scare Jessica to Death -- 1971, John D. Hancock 
74. Incantation -- 2022, Kevin Ko
73. Ginger Snaps -- 2000, John Fawcett
72. Audition -- 1999, Takashi Miike

Ten votes each! Ten votes each!

71. The Omen -- 1976, Richard Donner
70. The Invitation -- 2015, Karyn Kusama
69. The Changeling -- 1980, Peter Medak

  • FUCK YEAH INCANTATION! Man oh man, Incantation got me good. I love found footage movies that play with your expectations of the genre and can still surprise you--even better when they're absolutely terrifying to boot. It's a favorite of mine for sure for sure.
  • A reader on Misery: "Kathy Bates as depressive 'blues' Annie is just as mesmerizing as manic 'cliffhanger' Annie. Paul Sheldon is just smug and condescending enough."
  • It's amazing how much Jennifer's Body has been reconsidered and appreciated in recent years. It didn't place at all the first two times I did this list thang (2010 and 2017), but it had a really solid (under #100) showing in 2020 and 2024. She's come a long way, baby!
  • Speaking of Karyn Kusama, here's a reader on The Invitation (which has also been steadily climbing the SHOCKtober charts): "An inescapable dinner party where everyone tries to sell me on their culty MLM is already my #1 horror scenario. And THEN you add in the murder."
  • Seeing OG Nosferatu and OG Mr. Barlow listed side by side has my brain doubling down on that vampire royal rumble idea I had earlier this month...
  • A reader on Re-Animator, sharing a sentiment I think we all can agree with: "Barbara Crampton should be in every movie."
  • Sometimes I think Creepshow might be my all-time #1 because nothing else really hits me in the ways it does. It is scary and funny and gross and comforting, making me feel like I'm all snug and cozy in a velour tracksuit like Leslie Nielsen. The cast is 1000% perfect top to bottom, and the fact that Adrienne Barbeau didn't win 50 Oscars for her performance is a crime. I love it so much! Should I ever have a firstborn I will name her Creepshow.

Oct 26, 2024

SHOCKtober: 116-93


Wow, now that we are undie one hundie things are really starting to heat up! It's like we're at that point in a slasher movie where two of your friends have gone off somewhere to Do It but they've been gone way too long and you feel like something is super wrong, but when you say "Haven't they been gone way too long?" your other friends say "I'm sure they're fine, they'll be back any minute now." But of course the audience knows that your absent friends are already dead, killed either whilst they were Doing It or right after. Know what I mean?

Anyway, here are some movies that earned six votes each.

116. Kill List -- 2011, Ben Wheatley
115. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter -- 1984, Joseph Zito
114. Eyes Without a Face -- 1960, Georges Franju
113. Bride of Chucky -- 1998, Ronny Yu
112. Annihilation -- 2018, Alex Garland
111. A Tale of Two Sisters -- 2003, Kim Jee-woon

Now spend seven minutes in Heaven (or however long you'd like) with these films, each of which got seven votes.
  
110. Zombie (aka Zombie Flesh Eaters) -- 1979, Lucio Fulci
109. You're Next -- 2011, Adam Wingard
108. X -- 2022, Ti West
107. Watcher -- 2022, Chloe Okuno
106. Talk to Me -- 2022, Danny Philippou and Michael Philippou
105. Session 9 -- 2001, Brad Anderson
104. Ringu -- 1998, Hideo Nakata
103. Prince of Darkness -- 1987, John Carpenter
102. Pearl -- 2022, Ti West
101. Paranormal Activity -- 2007, Oren Peli 
100. Eraserhead -- 1977, David Lynch
  99. Demons -- 1985, Lamberto Bava
  98. The Autopsy of Jane Doe -- 2016, André Øvredal
  97. Aliens -- 1986, James Cameron
  96. A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night -- 2014, Ana Lily Amirpour
  95. Under the Skin -- 2013, Jonathan Glazer
  94. The Slumber Party Massacre -- 1982, Amy Holden Jones
  93. The Night of the Hunter -- 1955, Charles Laughton

  • A reader on Eraserhead: "Thanks Lynch, now I’m scared to eat rotisserie chicken." 
  • PS: now that I watch Twin Peaks (have you heard of it?) I look at Henry and instead of actually thinking about Eraserhead, I think "Aww, it's little baby Pete Martell."
  • PPS: I love Twin Peaks and I'm so happy I'm doing that podcast, otherwise I might never have started watching it!
  • PPPS: The podcast is The Detective and the Log Lady, in case you don't already know.
  • Whoa, X and Pearl both nabbing seven votes! I should have given them a sudden death vote-off. Personally, while Mia Goth is so perfect in Pearl (duh), overall I prefer X.
  • See, I love that I ask for readers' favorite horror movies because that way you get a list that has The Slumber Party Massacre and The Night of the Hunter ranked next to each other. I'd like to see one of those contentious "best horror movies" lists do that!
  • A reader on Watcher: "My most recent favourite! I absolutely love the trope of 'Is she right or is she a crazy woman?' but only when she’s right. Maika Monroe is, to me, flawless in this performance."
  • PS: Watcher director/co-writer Chloe Okuno became a cyberpal yearrrrrssssss ago thanks to this here blog, as she was a Final Girl reader. So getting to see her short films when she was in school back in The Day to seeing her making, like, legitimately terrific horror features that Final Girl readers are calling their favorites?? Her movies are listed alongside John Carpenter and David Lynch and Lucio Fulci and and and??? It makes my eyes misty and my heartplace warm, like Final Daughter is all grown up now, it's so cool.
  • Paranormal Activity opening night late show remains one of the best, most fun movie theatre experiences I've had as a horror fan, from waiting anxiously in line to screaming and yelling at the screen. I don't think it holds up to many repeat viewings, but I don't care, it will always be a favorite of mine!

Oct 25, 2024

SHOCKtober: 144-117


There are so many great movies coming atcha today, even just thinking about it makes me want to puke my pants! While I'm busy with that, get a load-a all the reader faves that caused all the fuss (and muss), starting with these films that received five votes each.

144. The Babadook -- 2014, Jennifer Kent
143. Tenebrae -- 1982, Dario Argento
142. Scream 2 -- 1997, Wes Craven
141. Santa Sangre -- 1989, Alejandro Jodorowsky
140. Ready or Not -- 2019, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet
139. Pontypool -- 2008, Bruce McDonald
138. Night of the Demons -- 1988, Kevin Tenney
137. Knife + Heart -- 2018, Yann Gonzalez
136. Gremlins -- 1984, Joe Dante
135. Gojira (aka Godzilla) -- 1954, Ishirô Honda
134. Ganja & Hess -- 1973, Bill Gunn
133. Frankenstein -- 1931, James Whale
132. Final Destination -- 2000, James Wong
131. Creep -- 2014, Patrick Brice
130. Burnt Offerings -- 1976, Dan Curtis
129. Bram Stoker's Dracula -- 1992, Francis Ford Coppola

But soft! What in the heck? We're already onto the movies that got six votes each? Man, we're really truckin'.

128. Titane -- 2021, Julia Ducournau
127. The Others -- 2001, Alejandro Amenábar
126. The Lost Boys -- 1987, Joel Schumacher
125. The Black Cat -- 1934, Edgar G. Ulmer
124. Sleepy Hollow -- 1999, Tim Burton
123. Scream 4 -- 2011, Wes Craven
122. Saint Maud -- 2019, Rose Glass
121. Orphan: First Kill -- 2022, William Brent Bell
120. Near Dark -- 1987, Kathryn Bigelow
119. My Bloody Valentine -- 1981, George Mihalka
118. Martyrs -- 2008, Pascal Laugier
117. Mandy -- 2018, Panos Cosmatos

  • A reader on The Black Cat: "I'm in love with Boris Karloff in this deliciously weird movie."
  • Scream 2 and 4 making appearances today. Folks really love those Screamses!
  • Burnt Offerings always feels like a made-for-TV movie to me, which I guess makes sense as it's one of only, like, three things Dan Curtis directed during his decades-long career that wasn't made-for-TV.
  • I was so into Saint Maud from the start and then that final shot! Reader, I gasped. It was incredible.
  • A reader on The Lost Boys: "This is one of the very first horror movies I remember watching as a child, and I've seen it so many times I know all the words. It's definitely one of the reasons ten year old me was obsessed with vampires."
  • I'll say it right out loud: I am a fan of the works of William Brent Bell and I don't care who knows it! Orphan: First Kill is even better than I anticipated (and I anticipated that it would be perfect, so) and I just vibe with all of his off-kilter flicks.
  • It occurs to me that I don't think I've actually seen Tenebrae, that my mind mixes it up with Inferno. Stupid lousy mind!